هویت انسان در حقیقت، به کارگیری صورتک های مختلف در زمانها و موقعیت های مختلف است.

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Love Liberates

I am grateful to be in love and to be loved and to be able to love, because that liberates. It does not just hold, that is ego, Love liberates.
Maya Angelou

سه ویژگی مرد باسواد

 می تواند خودش را مشغول نگه دارد

  می تواند دیگران را سرگرم نگه دارد

می تواند با ایده های جدید کنار بیاید

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ترس من این است که ما به خاطر قدرت یادگیری، به بطالت و تقلید هرچه بیشتر در خواهیم غلتید. این همان نگرانی‌ است که مرا وادار می‌کند به این بیندیشم که ما موجودات بی‌نهایت احمقی هستیم چون ما فراموش کرده‌ایم که قرار اولیه همه ما، ابتکار و خلاقیت بود .

[Mark Pagel]

1 + 6

در دنياي امروز يك عاشق و شش دوست براي ما كافيست، يعني هفت انسان از هفت ميليارد جمعيت دنيا براي ما كافيست.

برنامه امروز راديو همراه

سهراب سپهری

چه کسی میداند؟؟؟
که تو در پیله ی تنهایی خود، تنهــــایی؟
چه کسی می داند
که تو در حسرت یک روزنه در فردایــی؟
پیله ات را بگشا،
تو به اندازه ی پروانه شدن زیبایــی! ازصداي گذرآب چنان فهمیدم: تندتر ازآب روان، عمرگران میگذرد. زندگی رانفسی،ارزش غم خوردن نيست! آرزویم این است آنقدرسيربخندي كه ندانی غم چيست.

Being a good listener

دوست داشتن آدم ها را می توان
از توجه آنها فهمید
وگرنه حرف را که همه می توانند بزنند..

- پائولو کوئلیو

Things that are required from your partner

1) Trust
2)Calm - Relaxation
3)Freedom
4)Independence
5)Security

 

Important points in life

در زندگی وظیفه شما مواظبت و مراقبت کردن از زمینه های حساس و ظریف و لطیف دوستانتون هست .
شما هیچوقت قصد تصحیح  کردن دوستان نزدیک خودتون رو نباید داشته باشد. ما قرار نیست تو دنیا بیایم به مردم بگیم عیب و   ا یرادشون چیه . اگه فکر میکنم یه چیزی اشتباه , حتما یه راهی هست که یه جوری خودش غیر مستقیم بهش بگیم .

خشم و عصبانیت عشق  رو به بیتفاوتی میکشونه, چون عشق هیچوقت به تنفر تبدیل نمیشه ولی رابطه رو به تنفر میکشونه . خشم و عصبانیت ریشه آدم رو میسوزونه, درست مثل  حسادت.

مقدار زیادی از رنج مردم دنیا برا اینه که کسی تو دنیا قدرشون رو نمیدونه

Dr. F.H .

من میخواهم زندگی کنم , میخو اهم خوب زندگی کنم . برای این زندگی کردن میخواهم همکاری کنم . میخواهم عشق بورزم , عشق بپذیرم , نمی خواهم بجنگم

سیمین بهبهانی:

قلم چرخید و فرمان را گرفتند

ورق برگشت و ایران را گرفتند

به تیتر «شاه رفت ِ» اطلاعات

توجه کرده کیهان را گرفتند

چپ و مذهب گره خوردند و شیخان

شبانه جای شاهان را گرفتند

همه ازحجره‌ها بیرون خزیدند

به سرعت سقف و ایوان را گرفتند

گرفتند و گرفتن کارشان شد

هرآنچه خواستند آن را گرفتند

به هرانگیزه و با هر بهانه

مسلمان، نامسلمان را گرفتند

به جرم بدحجابی، بد لباسی

زنان را نیز، مردان را گرفتند

سراغ سفره ها، نفتی نیامد

ولیکن در عوض نان راگرفتند

یکی نان خواست بردندش به زندان

از آن بیچاره دندان را گرفتند

یکی آفتابه دزدی گشت افشاء

به دست آفتابه داشت آن را گرفتند

یکی خان بود از حیث چپاول

دوتا مستخدم خان را گرفتند

فلان ملا مخالف داشت بسیار

مخالف‌های ایشان را گرفتند

بده مژده به دزدان خزانه

که شاکی‌های آنان را گرفتند

چو شد درآستان قدس دزدی

گداهای خراسان را گرفتند

به جرم اختلاس شرکت نفت

برادرهای دربان را گرفتند

نمیخواهند چون خر را بگیرند

محبت کرده پالان را گرفتند

غذا را آشپز چون شور میکرد

سر سفره نمکدان را گرفتند

Consider those before things get serious

1) Love
2) Relation and Communication
3) Agreement
4)Common Goals

تضاد عقل و احساس

در آدم سالم , احساس و هیجان , عقل , و منطق  همه در یه جهت هستند.
اینا با هم در تضاد نیستند . روزی که من و شما , احساساتمون , عواطفمون با عقلمون و واقعیت و علم و منطق در تضاد باشه , یا احساساتمون اشکال داره یا عقل و منطق یا هر دو . بنا بر این ون گفتگو های های قدیمی که عقل اینو میگه و دلم اینو میگه , حرف های کاملا بی ربطی . قلب آدم هارو  عوض کردند , هیچ چیز عوض نشد , مغزشون رو یه خورده دست کاری کردند همه چیز عوض  شد.

خیلی وقت‌ها فقط رویاهای شخصی مهم نیست بلکه رفتار آدم های اطراف نقش مهم تری بازی می کنند

Compromise is a big part of being in a relationship.

زندانی و زندانبان

ما با وجود اینکه در زمانی زندگی میکنیم که با هواپیما اینور  و اونور میریم, هنوز افکار و عقاید  مالکیت و کنترل ترس و تنبیه و دخالت رو به گونه یه که مربوط به ٥٠٠ سال پیش هاست داریم  تو زندگی عزیزانمون به عنوان محبت و عشق تزریق میکنیم و فاجعه های از این قبیل به وجود میایریم که این همه نیروی با استعداد باهوش توانا تبدیل میشه به زندانی خودش و دیگران .
Dr.F.Holakuee

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.' [Leonard Bernstein]

همه ی چیزهایی را که درباره ی زندگی آموخته ام می توانم در سه کلمه خلاصه کنم: زندگی، پیش، می رود. . - رابرت فراست

If you can't give up the past, you have to give up the present.

What breed is this dog ?

اگر هنوز جوان مانده اي به آن معناست

زمان نمي گذرد عمــــر ره نمي سپرد
صــداي ساعت شماطه بانگ تکرار است
نه شنبــه هست ونه جمعـــه
نه پار وپيرار است
جوان وپير کدام اســــت ؟ زود ودير کدام ؟
اگر هنوز جوان مانده اي به آن معناست
که عشق را به زواياي جان صلا زده اي
ملال پيري اگر مي کشد تو را پيداست
که زير سيلي تکرار
دست وپا زده اي
زمان نمي گذرد
صداي ساعت شماطه بانگ تکرار است
خوشا به حال کسي که لحظه لحظه اش از عشق سر شار است

فريدون مشيري

من دریافته ام که ایده های بزرگ هنگامی به ذهن راه می یابند که مصمم به داشتن چنین ایده هایی باشیم. «چارلی چاپلین»

ﯾــﮏ ﺷـﺠﺎﻉ

ﻭﻗــﺘﯽ ﺷــﻤﺎ ...

"ﺟــﺮﺃﺕ ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻦ ﺍﻭ ﺭﺍ ﻧــﺪﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺑــﺎﺷﯿﺪ " ....

ﺩﯾــﺮ ﯾﺎ ﺯﻭﺩ
.
.
ﺳـﺮ ﻭ ﮐﻠﻪﯼ ﯾــﮏ ﺷـﺠﺎﻉ ﭘــﯿﺪﺍ ﺧــﻮﺍﻫﺪ ﺷــﺪ...!

 گابریل گارسیا مارکز

تفکیک جنسیتی

در سرزمینی که در آن تفکیک جنسیتی از کودکی صورت گیرد،
دخترانش پسرانش را گرگ تصور میکنند 
وپسرانش دخترانش را طعمه...
در اوج گرایش و کشش با پیش زمینه ای آلوده عاشق میشوند، 
بدون هیچ شناختی...
عشق میمیرد و ارتباط نابود، 
مردانش تنوع طلب میشوند و زنانش مرد ستیز .

- امانوئل کانت

Never look down on anybody unless you are helping them up. [Read somewhere]

آدم ها فراموش نمی کنند ... فقط دیگر ساکت می شوند ! ژوان هریس

He who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how [Nietzsche]

The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory [ Viktor. Frankl]

خطا کردن یک کار انسانی است اما تکرار آن یک کار حیوانی. "آناتل فرانس"

The brain backfire effect

 If you look at a brain scan of people who are listening to a political argument that contradicts their own position, the blood in the part of the brain responsible for rational thought is depleted and is not replenished until the person hears a statement that confirms their position. When confronted with new ideas, your brain literally closes up shop and throws down the blinds until a friendly and well-known visitor knocks at the door.

In other words, our unconscious minds see our personal ideas as a great treasure, and competing ideas as would-be looters; when they’re detected by the unconscious’ security system, it unleashes the dogs and locks the gate.

Few Golden Rules On Living The Good Life

Click 
Worry only about the things that are in your control, the things that can be influenced and changed by your actions, not about the things that are beyond your capacity to direct or alter.

Treasure Friendship, the reciprocal attachment that fills the need for affiliation. Friendship cannot be acquired in the market place, but must be nurtured and treasured in relations imbued with trust and amity.
 
Experience True Pleasure. Avoid shallow and transient pleasures. Keep your life simple. Seek calming pleasures that contribute to peace of mind. True pleasure is disciplined and restrained.

The 3 Characteristics of an Educated Man [artofmanliness.com ]

[Clickable]
What defines an educated man? The number of degrees he has? The size of his vocabulary? How many books he’s read? 

The qualities that constitute an educated man can be argued over and debated. But I was really taken with the description I found in the book How to Live the Good Life by Commander Edward Whitehead (the Schweppes guy!). He said:

“An educated man has been defined as one who can entertain himself, one who can entertain another, and one who can entertain a new idea.”

Let’s take a look at each of these characteristics.

Can Entertain Himself

“Only those who want everything done for them are bored.” –Billy Graham

“I’m bored!” is the plaintive cry uttered by many a child idling away their summer vacation or fall break. They expect their parents to come up with an activity to cure this boredom (if your mom was like mine, she would always make a wry suggestion like, “How about cleaning up your room?”).

Unfortunately, many men never outgrow this need to be entertained by others and don’t develop into manly self-starters. This is the man who puts his head down on the dinner table as people talk after eating (I’ve seen it), the college student who grouses his way through a class outing to the local museum, and the houseguest who comes to visit your fair city and has no idea what he’d like to do during his stay; he leaves all the planning to you.

The reason that children are perennially bored is not that there aren’t entertainment options available—they’re often surrounded by toys and games—but that they have such short attention spans. They play with one thing for a little bit and then another, and then don’t know what else to do. The educated man is able to lose himself in a task, a hobby, a conversation, or a book because he has developed his powers of focus and concentration.

“When people are bored, it is primarily with themselves.” –Eric Hoffer

Of course these days, with an iPhone always at hand, amusing yourself isn’t very difficult. Anyone can surf or text the boredom away. The real test for the modern educated man is the ability to entertain himself when technology isn’t available or is not socially acceptable to whip out. Can you entertain yourself at a boring meeting, while camping, while conversing at a dinner party? The educated man can, and he does it, ironically enough, by retaining an important ability of his childhood—curiosity. The educated man is insatiably curious about the world around him and other people. In any situation, he sees something to learn, study, and observe. If he’s stuck somewhere with neither phone nor company,  he uses the time to untangle a philosophical problem he’s been wrestling with; the mind of the educated man is a repository of ideas that he can pull out and examine to pass the time in any situation.

Can Entertain a Friend

If someone is of the dull, non-self-starting kind, lucky is he to have a friend who is an educated man to entertain him!

The educated man is the life of the party, the man who keeps the conversation lively and is known to be unfailingly engaging.

He is able to do this because of the breadth of his reading and his experiences. He has an arsenal of interesting tales at the ready about his travels and endeavors. And he’s up on the latest news stories and interesting scientific break-throughs.  No matter the demographics of the group he’s with, he knows a story that will appeal to them.

Abraham Lincoln is a good example of an educated man who could entertain others. Though Lincoln only had one year of formal education, he read voraciously and dedicated himself to lifelong learning. The result was the ability to talk to anybody about anything and leave them entertained. Adeline Judd, the wife of Illinois Congressman Norman Judd, recounted an experience of being entertained one evening by the musings of Abe Lincoln:

“Mr. Lincoln, whose home,” she writes, “was far inland from the Great Lakes, seemed stirred by the wondrous beauty of the scene and by its very impressiveness was carried away from all thoughts of the earth. In that high-pitched but smooth-toned voice he began to speak of the mystery which for ages enshrouded and shut out those distant worlds above us from our own; of the poetry and beauty which was seen and felt by seers of old when they contemplated Orion and Arcturus as they wheeled seemingly around the earth in their mighty course; of the discoveries since the invention of the telescope which had thrown a flood of light and knowledge on what before was incomprehensible and mysterious; of the wonderful computations of scientists who had measured the miles of seemingly endless space which separated the planets in our solar system from our central sun and our sun from other suns which were now gemming the heavens above us with their resplendent beauty.”

“When the night air became too chilly to remain longer on the piazza, we went into the parlor where, seated on the sofa his long limbs stretching across the carpet and his arms folded about him, Mr. Lincoln went on to speak of the discoveries and inventions which had been made during the long lapse of time between the present and those early days when man began to make use of the material things about him. He speculated upon the possibilities of the knowledge which an increased power of the lens would give in the years to come, and then the wonderful discoveries of late centuries, as proving that beings endowed with such capabilities as man must be immortal and created for some high and noble end by Him who had spoken these numberless worlds into existence.”

“We were all indescribably impressed,” continues Mrs. Judd, “by Mr. Lincoln’s conversation. After he had gone Mr. Judd remarked: ‘The more I see of Mr. Lincoln the more I am surprised at the range of his attainments and the wonderful store of knowledge he has acquired in the various departments of science and learning during the years of his constant labor at the bar. A professor at Yale could not have been more entertaining and instructive.'”

Of course among the many subjects the educated man has studied is that of human behavior and psychology, so he knows that people are most charmed when others seemed interested in them. Here Lincoln also excelled; as one of his biographers noted, “Like all truly great men he was a good listener.”

While we’re on the subject, I’d also add that a man should be able to tell a good joke. I guess it’s gone out of fashion to tell real jokes, but I still enjoy them.

Can Entertain a New Idea

This might seem like the easiest one…how hard is it to be open-minded, right?

Well recent research into the way our minds work has shown that far from being the rational beings we flatter ourselves into believing we are, unbeknownst to us, our unconscious is constantly shaping our thoughts, beliefs, and motivations in irrational ways. For example because of “the backfire effect,” when we’re presented with evidence that contradicts our beliefs, instead of changing those beliefs, they become even more entrenched. “The confirmation bias” makes us seek out and only pay attention to new information that confirms our preexisting notions, while we let information that contradicts those notions go over our heads. And “the sunk-cost fallacy” pushes us to stick with a less sensible or desirable option instead of choosing something better, because we’ve already invested time, money, or emotion in it.

In other words, our unconscious minds see our personal ideas as a great treasure, and competing ideas as would-be looters; when they’re detected by the unconscious’ security system, it unleashes the dogs and locks the gate. If you look at a brain scan of people who are listening to a political argument that contradicts their own position, the blood in the part of the brain responsible for rational thought is depleted and is not replenished until the person hears a statement that confirms their position. When confronted with new ideas, your brain literally closes up shop and throws down the blinds until a friendly and well-known visitor knocks at the door.

All of which is to say, the ability to entertain new ideas does not come naturally. Your conscious mind has to turn off the unconscious’ security system and say, “Okay, I know what’s going on here. Let’s not be so hasty. I’m not sure if that’s a looter or a new friend. Why don’t we first check and see?”

Entertaining a new idea doesn’t necessarily mean accepting it and changing your beliefs every time you’re presented with a different take on things. As it has been said, “Be opened-minded, but not so open-minded that your brain falls out.”

Rather, you should entertain an idea in the same way you entertain a guest. You talk with him in a public setting first, at a distance. If you’re intrigued, you then invite him over for a chat. You spend some time getting to know him. And if he turns out to be a bad apple, you stop letting him come around. But sometimes, the person you didn’t think you had anything in common with becomes your new best friend.

The educated man has an easier time in seeing this. His varied experiences and studies have given him multiple opportunities to see how the information he has learned has changed his opinions–even if it took those new ideas a long time to be invited in. The sheltered man who only interacts with people just like him and only reads things that confirm his preconceived ideas will not have these experiences to draw upon, and will thus greet all new ideas like menacing strangers, shaking his fist at them from the safety of the other side of his crocodile-infested moat.

The first condition of freedom is its limitation. Make freedom absolute and it dies in chaos. [Will & Arial Durant]

پیرشدن ربطی به سن‌وسال و روحیه و این‌ها ندارد. ملاک پیری میزان صدایی است که موقع خم‌شدن و پوشیدن جوراب از خودت درمی‌آوری

کدئین

“It is not the race that makes the civilization, it is the civilization that makes the people: circumstances geographical, economic, and political create a culture, and the culture creates a human type.” [will and ariel durant]

« هر چقدر با هم همفکری و تفاهم داریم ولی یک بخش اساسی از ناخوداگاه و کنه روان من قابل شناخت برای هیچ فردی حتی خودم نیست.» Alain de Botton

Don't let fear become your profession

nervous breakdown

The term "nervous breakdown" is sometimes used to describe a stressful situation in which someone becomes temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life. It's commonly understood to occur when life's demands become physically and emotionally overwhelming. The term was frequently used in the past to cover a variety of mental disorders, but it's used less often today.

Nervous breakdown isn't a medical term, however, nor does it indicate a specific mental illness. But that doesn't mean it's a normal or a healthy response to stress

 بهترین قسمت زندگی
داشتن کسی‌ است که
ارزش انتظار کشیدن را داشته باشد …
.
ریچارد باخ

کاسه ای آب به پشت سر لبخند بریزم ،شاید به سلامت ز سفر برگردد

یاد من باشد فردا دم صبح
جور دیگر باشم
بد نگویم به هوا،  آب ، زمین
مهربان باشم،  با مردم شهر
و فراموش کنم،  هر چه گذشت
خانه ی دل،  بتکانم ازغم
و به دستمالی از جنس گذشت ،
بزدایم دیگر،تار کدورت، از دل
مشت را باز کنم، تا که دستی گردد
و به لبخندی خوش
دست در دست زمان بگذارم
یاد من باشد فردا دم صبح
به نسیم از سر صدق، سلامی بدهم
و به انگشت نخی خواهم بست
تا فراموش، نگردد فردا
زندگی شیرین است، زندگی باید کرد
گرچه دیر است ولی
کاسه ای آب به پشت سر لبخند بریزم ،شاید
به سلامت ز سفر برگردد
بذر امید بکارم، در دل
لحظه را در یابم
من به بازار محبت بروم فردا صبح
مهربانی  خودم، عرضه کنم
یک بغل عشق از آنجا بخرم
یاد من باشد فردا حتما
به سلامی، دل همسایه ی خود شاد کنم
بگذرم از سر تقصیر رفیق ، بنشینم دم در
چشم بر کوچه بدوزم با شوق
تا که شاید برسد همسفری ، ببرد این دل مارا با خود
و بدانم دیگر قهر هم چیز بدیست
یاد من باشد فردا حتما
باور این را بکنم، که دگر فرصت نیست
و بدانم که اگر دیر کنم ،مهلتی نیست مرا
و بدانم که شبی خواهم رفت
و شبی هست، که نیست، پس از آن فردایی.

 فریدون مشیری